Praying

Sun 13/2 (1:42 pm)

Yesterday I read my friend's post about "praying", in a way I'm like her, I hardly pray anything for myself.

I never put too much attention on the 'why' section behind it but after reading my friend's post.. I began to wonder 'why' from my part..

And somehow I think.. it's because.. I'm afraid I pray for myself and I didn't get what I wanted.. I might find myself be mad at Him.

I guess in a way.. a part of me think that I shouldn't be mad at Him for not getting what I want.. but on the other hand, I just can't help feeling what I feel and He knows everything without me having to tell Him..

And beside that "reason".. I dunnoo.. have I somewhat felt that my problems and what I want ain't that "important" for Him to know or to fulfill?

Ain't we're all equal in God's eyes?

He loves each and everyone of us.. shouldn't that matter to me?

Is it somehow I feel like I don't deserve His love so it feels like out of place for me to ask things for myself when I pray to Him?

What makes me feel that way?

Why do I feel that way?

Hmm.. see? One question might lead to another, ahahaha.. but I believe that only by questioning then one day I might find the answer to my question, otherwise it will only be information.

Tuhan, Engkau yang lebih tau mengapa saya jarang sekali berdoa untuk diri saya sendiri, maukah Engkau memberi tau saya mengapa? Dan apakah egois ketika berdoa sesuatu untuk saya sendiri?

Sun 13/2 (2:05 pm)

-Indah-